Will of Man

It is not what a man does that makes him a man. Rather it is what he chooses to do that separates him from the boys. It is what he does not do that defines him. It is his own command of his selfish will by God’s grace that sets him apart, thus making him holy.

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The Engineering Script – Part 1

“There is no assistance”
I wonder if I can stay
Awake in this lecture
I ponder the probability
of getting through without dropping

My taken notes arranged
in random arrays placed
in my folder, homework undone
Lab output sheets, Shenandoah
“There is no assistance”

I long for the open mountains
I dream of sea breeze, the smell
of salt. I wish for damp earth
“There is no assistance”
I am lost in the woods

I am lost in the depths of the ocean
“There is no assistance”
My breath held, lungs bursting
Bringing myself to accept my fate
I start to drown beneath it all

My efforts to understand my assignments
are in vain as I start to slip, content
“There is no assistance”
In my deepest thoughts, the reason
of failure, hidden from other humans

There is no assistant

A Journey of Surrender

“For I desire mercy, not sacrifice,
and acknowledgement of God rather than burnt offerings.”

Hosea 6:6

It is not our righteous acts that redeem us, but our love for God and our relationship with Him. What stops me from entering into a relationship with Him? It is my reluctance to let go of other relationships and the need to be in control of the people around me.

I could see my eyes darken with the shadow of fear and distrust with what was happening at home, with the tension caused by my brother. I can feel my spirit burden because of Wen Hui, every post, every memory and every word, every shadow of passing that referenced her.

I could feel no trust in the amazing relationship available to me through God. I felt that I could not trust this God whose words are true. I knew who he is, I could trust, but I didn’t. I did not believe. My faith was not great in the God I knew so much about.

My surrender has yet to be completed. My acts do not make my life, my pursuit of Christ, more so in community as I realize, would move me to a more complete surrender and genuine relationship with Christ.